Critty Joy

Back to Reality...

Well technically....day 2.  ;)

 

Hello!

I hope you had a most delightful holiday season!

Sigh.  Tomorrow it is back to work for me.  I have been off work since December 22. It's a perk of working in higher education!  I would tell you all the glorious things I did while at home but alas I spent most of my time off in bed with the crud.  Given to me by the husband.  I did get to snuggle with my cat so that was the upside to things.  I also may have watched way too many Hallmark Christmas movies! I slept most of Christmas day which is sad for me...but I did manage to feel better in time for New Years Eve...although we stayed in our pajamas all day and watched things like NCIS LA and Chrisley Knows Best.  We know how to party I tell you.

I have been doing little things like working on my book list for this year, trying to figure out my one word, and making a list of topics to blog about so I can be more proactive with writing this year.

I must admit to feeling a little off on this second day of 2017.  By now I usually know my goals, have my word, and planning how to meet them.  I think part of the reason is because I have set goals the last few years and did not succeed.  So no big goals this year.  Just my one word, the reading challenges, and writing. 

Last year was hard.  HARD.  I was not sad to see it go but with that I think I am looking to take small steps into this new year.  I'm slightly afraid of what it will hold but also I have hope that good things will come.  Some years are bitter.  Some years are sweet.  And some are bitterly sweet.  I am still having some trouble accepting some of the bitter from last year. I will be working on letting it go this week as I do not want last year to overshadow this year.  Simple things that bring delight to my heart is how I am going to work on this.  Of course that might have to wait until next week as the next few days will be crazy as we gear up to start a new semester!

There is an unsettledness in my heart.  Anxiety had made for a few sleepless nights and I feel a stirring.  I have these hopes and dreams I buried a long time ago that keep surfacing and I am not sure what that looks like.  Have you ever had those times of unsettledness?  I feel quiet but not because I don't want to say anything...more because I just don't know yet what the stirring is.  It's an uncomfortable place but I have found in the last few years those uncomfortable places are where He often meets me.  I have prayed hard over the last few days for clarity and wisdom.  I am thankful He knows what is stirring and that he will reveal it in time.  I can be a bit impatient...so I'll just be praying and biting my fingernails off.

Oh I kid about the fingernails. 

I hope.

Thankfully we are on page two of a brand new book.  A new story is just waiting to be written.  I may be unsettled and uncomfortable but at least I know who my co-author is and He is pretty darn trust-worthy!

How was your holiday dear ones and how is the start of your new year?

 

4 Sided Comfort.

 

Sometimes made of bricks and mortar from years of hurt.

 

Sometimes made of cement from a hurt that scarred so deeply ones world fell apart.

We think it protects us.

This box.  This 4 sided comfort.

And to a certain extent it does.

Often we don't know we live in our own box until something or someone helps us see it.

I have been thinking about my own box lately after a conversation I had with a co-worker on my last day of work at my old job.

I know at least one side of my box was made of brick and mortar as it took a year from seeing myself in my box to taking one side of it down.  (If you want to know about my journey toward breaking down one side of my box you read about it here, here, and here.) 

I must admit at times fear still comes with the fact that with one side of my box gone...I feel exposed and less comfortable.

At the same time it's opened my heart and mind and helped me see Him differently and know Him deeper.

My co-worker expressed to me that he was sad to see me go because he felt like it had just been in the last 6 months (the length of time my notice was) he had really gotten to know me.

I told him the reason was because in my box...no one could really and truly know me.  The thing about a box is no one fits in it but you.

Not even God.

(Plus if you put God in a box too...that's 2 thick walls to get through to know Him...and to know you!)

Once you take down one side of your box....others can see in.

He can see in.

There is an exposure.  People truly see...YOU.  

Breaking down one side of your box means getting comfortable with a few things....your flaws.  Your humanity.  You sin and brokenness.    It also means getting uncomfortable with a great deal of things.  

It's not been an easy thing...breaking down a side of my 4 sided comfort.

At the same time I think over the past 2 years and see a girl who can say she has take brave steps and shown courage.

Then I think to those other three sides of comfort and hope this journey toward freedom continues.

Thinking of a life box free...and uncomfortable... is terrifyingly exciting.

Even more... I have discovered that living a life that borders on terrified excitement is a life worth daring to live.

Since I am choosing dares and risks this year.  I think I am going to work on that next side of comfort.

Do you live in four sided comfort?  Or are you breaking down those sides of your own box?

 

Joining with the SDG sisters at Jen's.

 

Don't forget about As of Late this Thursday! :)

Thoughts on This Last Day of 2011.

Today I went with my brother and cousin to my former job and finished getting the stuff from my office.  As I finished packing a few breakable things I realized this was the perfect day to be doing this task.  The last day of 2011.

The year I strengthened my faith and trusted....really trusted Him for the first time with my whole life.

I took a huge step of faith and my life looks so different from 6 months ago.

And so on this last day of 2011 one chapter of my life closed and others will begin.

He has given me a word for next year that excites and terrifies me.

I also made a list of goals to finish as part of Jon Acuff's FinishYear.

 

This year taught me so much but I am glad today is the last day.... I am ready for a new year full of freedom and all sorts of other wonderful things.

 

I cannot help but think this coming year is going to be special in so many ways.

 

Thank you for journeying with me this year dear Peaches...I so look forward to our 2012 journey.  He is going to do great things!  

 

Happy New Year!

Christy 

 

(P.S. What's Your Story starts on Monday and there is still plenty of room if you want to send me your story!  Next week I will be sharing about my One Word and my 2012 goals.)

Live Life Daringly.

I am not a risk taker.

I don't do roller coasters or anything the least bit daring.

Over the years I have just convinced myself that this is the way life is.

If you had asked me a few years ago if faith meant risk and daring I would have laughed and said no way.

For years I thought faith was simple.  Comfortable.  Like your favorite pajamas.  It just fit...soft and perfect.  Truthfully I like to have my faith controlled....by me.

On my journey to freedom this year I have found this to be far from true.

When I made some hard decisions a few months ago they were full of risk.  Completely out of my control....daring risks.  I don't do well when I am not in control.  Add in choices that involve risk.  Terrified is the word that comes to mind.

The past few months have been hard. Harder than I thought...but at the same time I don't know a time when I have felt more alive.

He has taught me that faith is risky.  It's suppose to be.  We take step after step... and in faith we trust that the next step is there because He is who He says He is.  

Beliving in Him.  Knowing Him.  Trusting Him.  

He is faithful.

For me to be faithful to Him it means taking steps and not knowing where my foot is going to land.  It means trusting that He knows best and He is in control.  It means knowing He is there beside me....and I keep moving foward writing my story one chapter at a time.

 

Excitement and Terror war within my heart.

I am completely excited for the new things He has in store for me.

I am also completely terrifed of the new things He has in store for me.

 

More than anything over the last few months I have learned that to truly live you have to take daring risks.  To move forward... to be brave enough to know what is coming is more important than fear.

I want to be fully alive in this time He has given me.  I want to help Him write my story. One that is full of the colors of love and broad strokes of risks, courage, excitement, terror, and LIFE.

I want to live life daringly.

I must become a risk taker.  I want more.  I want the adventure He has made life to be.  

Live. Life. Daringly.  

Are you?  Can you?  Will you?

 

Joining Jen and the SDG ladies today.

This Pilgrim's Heart.

I guess today is where I tell you where I am in my journey.  Since I am asking you to share your journey here (don't forget if you want to do that go here and fill out the form!)

If you had told me this time last year what my 2010 was going to look like I would have scoffed.  2010 was going to be the year.  2009 wasn't all that great and I thought 2010 just had to be better.  Yet as month after month past I became more discouraged.

To be honest part of it has been my own fault.  For the last few years I have felt uncomfortable in my own skin.  Doing things I did not honestly enjoy but doing them because well it was expected.  Stuck is definitely the word to describe me.  Not just this year but for the last several years.

I was also uncomfortable because somehow over the years I had changed.  I had become more dependent on other's opinions of me than ever before.  Since graduating college life had slowly become something I did not want.

I was letting others choose my journey.  I was letting others write my story.

I was so unsure of me.  I did not trust my own heart, my own decisions, my own mind, my own God given wisdom.  I was so afraid to step out.  Thinking if I made a mistake that the others would call me on it and I would know they were right....I should have just stayed with the old things.

Fear.  It has run rampant in my heart.  For years.

This year I gave myself permission to do something I had not done in a long time...dream.

Oh how I dreamed.  Photography.  Another degree in English.  Becoming a florist.  Traveling the world. Working with girls and women who were trafficking victims. Those were my top dreams (besides my normal...get married and have children dream!)

Here is what I have realized.  The people that LOVE me.  Really love me have been telling me for years to go after what my heart wants.  Those voices however were very few and very far between.  I could count on one hand those voices.  Slowly over the last year He has added voices to those others.  Beautiful voices that have consistently told me.  Do what you love.  Even more...

BE what you love.

So the evolution of Critty Joy this year has been that.  Me doing what I love.  The changes I have made are me being what I love.  I love encouraging others.  It gives me strength.  I love interacting and learning about others.  I love sharing my voice here through my silly randomness and serious thoughtfulness.

I only let certain things change.  In my every day life not much changed.

Then my Memaw died.  I lost a big piece of my heart that day.  As I sat there at the funeral I kept looking at the blanket of flowers on her casket and thinking how much she would have loved them and how much I loved them.  Flowers have always been one of our things.  When she was younger she had a florist shop.  As I sat there my heart asked....if you love something so much why are you not doing anything about it?

So over the last month I have.  In July I took a photography class.  To see if I wanted to learn more.

And I looked into technical colleges that offered a floral design program.

I applied for one of the programs.  It was a big step.  A step toward what was a dream to what could be a reality.  Now I just wait to see if I get accepted and also see if I can get financial aid.

I also looked into some photography programs and will be thinking and praying for them.

Creativity inspires me.  I never realized it until recently.

When I see flowers, or I take a photo with my camera, or I create in photoshop, or I write words...or read words.  To me they are all wonderful gifts God gave to us.  To me.

I always loved God's handiwork with our world.  The sky.  The trees. The flowers. The grass. The people.  All things show that God is a creative God.  That it was and is important to Him.

That brings us to here. This is where my journey is today.  It's a place I have never been before.

It's exciting and scary.  Just like launching the new things here....it seems I am launching new things in my life.

I think that I have learned to look to my heart this year...to what inspires me.  What makes me see His face.  What brings me joy.  What makes me feel free.

Then I find a way and move toward it.

Journey.

This is just the first of many more steps.

 

A New Thing and Reinventing An Old Thing.

Yesterday I introduced you to Pilgrims and Questions....

Today it's Prayer and Pouring Out.

You will notice in the side bar the prayer button.  I love prayer.  I think it is the greatest honor to carry others to the Throne before our God.  Especially sometimes when we want to do something and we can't.  I think we forget the power of prayer sometimes compared to helping someone in a different way.  Prayer just does not seem to be enough when in fact it is the very most important thing.

If you have a prayer request and want someone to pray...you can go and leave it there.  You can do it anonymously or add your email address or blog link.  The list will start over each month.  And if you feel like praying for others you can go visit the list too.

In the early months of this year I introduced Pouring Out.  No one seemed very interested...and I let that get me down instead of keeping up with the challenge of it.  You can see what the original mission of it was by visiting the button in the side bar.  In September things are going to change.  I am bringing back Pouring Out.  At the beginning of each month I am going to challenge you to pour into someone in your life.  It could be a sibling or a friend that is having a difficult time.  Then through out that month remind you.  At the end of the month I will host a link up where you tell us what you learned and what impacted you.  I hope you will join me next month!

 

So that is the 4 new things coming to Critty Joy.  I am very excited about all of them!

This is what I meant by posting with a twist.  The questions post each week is about you....and of course I will still enjoy randomness with Linda and Random Dozen at times and Caffeinated Randomness with Andrea!  Twice a month I will be featuring YOU and other times you will get to read my thoughts.

Sounds like a fun hodge podge of goodness to me!

Some new things....

Okay...I know you are waiting anxiously for me to tell you about the new things.

And to show how much I love you I am typing this with a very sore body from my CPR/first aid training on Monday.  I don't think my knees will ever be the same.  The baby stuff was a little intense since sweet Toccoa is now a part of our lives but I feel good knowing that I could help her if need be.  :)

See randomness and ramblings still have a place here on the bloggy!

So...the new things.  I am debating about names of things right now...maybe you can help me!

1.  Pilgrims or Wayfarers (Pilgrim and pilgrimage are what I am using now...but also like wayfarer and journey.  For the pilgrim explanation click the button in the side bar called Meet other Pilgrims. I also like pilgrim and pilgrimage because it is different from journey....wayfarer and journey are kind of self explanatory.)

With the theme of journeying I wanted to do something to introduce others who are on their journey...strugglers if you will. (From that quote that Kristen shared that still resounds in my heart.)  While on our journey we all have issues, struggles, that while are hard at the same time shape us and mold us.  I truly believe God uses those things to bring us closer to Him and to teach us lessons....and I find it important to share those lessons.  I feel that Critty Joy blog could be a place for that.  In the side bar you will see a button that says Meet Other Pilgrims (like I said still debating!) When you click on it it will explain my vision for this.  The gist is that two times a month I will open up my blog to you.  You can answer a set of questions I have or write a guest post.  It is for us to get to know one another...a community of sorts.  For you to share your heart...your struggle, your victory.  It is just a where you are at thing....you can do it more than once if you want all that I will ask is that you wait a few months :)

If you are interested just click on the sidebar button that says Meet other Pilgrims and fill out the form!  I will email you with the details.  You do not have to be a blogger to do this just put no as the answer of the blog question!

 

2. Questions (I have no idea what to name this yet...)

Every Tuesday I am going to ask a question.  A simple question.  For example...

What verse spoke to your heart this week?

Then I will share my answer in the comments....and you will share yours and we will learn from one another, challenge one another (in a good way of course!), and love one another.  You can even reply to one another in the comments.  I plan to do that too.  On Tuesdays the place to be on Critty Joy will be in the comments.  I want to get to know you.  What touches your heart, what makes you laugh and brings you joy and what brings you sorrow and makes you cry.

 

I guess the point of the new things is to get to know you and to create an environment of encouragement and community.

And tomorrow I will tell you more....

 

He's Doing a New Thing, So We are Singing a New Song.

A few weeks ago I had lunch with my friend Laina.  We were talking about music...which is enivitable when the two of us are together and she got really excited and wanted me to hear a song on her phone.  So the two of us sat in a booth at Applebee's each of us having one of her earbuds in our ears and listened.

The song was People Get Ready by Misty Edwards.  It was so powerful.  It is a very interesting song and it took me a minute or so to get into it. Once I did I was so moved by it.

At 4 minutes into the song she repeats several times the phrase, He's doing a new thing, so we are singing a new song.  For some reason that has stuck with me for weeks.

I wanted to download the song but it is unavailable unless you purchase the whole cd.  So I waited.  Then the weekend before last I was perusing Amazon's $5 mp3 cds and there it was.  I immediately downloaded the cd and listened to it....just as moved as I had been for the first time.

Then on Monday Kristen posted her Musings post and the quote was so powerful.  It literally took me 45 minutes to post a comment because my thoughts were so wrapped up.

I was also pondering something Tracy had reminded me of on her blog about a wish that we both had with our blogs.  To create a living room type environment.  A comfy place people enjoyed and wanted to come to.  For me part of that also means interaction.

What started as a redesign last week turned into something so much more.  The song, the quote, the conversation had my brain buzzing!

My new header image was something I had picked out months ago but was very indecisive about until last week.

Things begin to fall into place.  My mission (aka tagline) changed some.  Journey and Story.  Those seem to be the reoccurring themes in my life.  They fit together.  My new header reflects them both to me.

As I thought of journey I was reminded of the quote Kristen had us muse upon.

Suddenly I knew that I wanted more from this blog than just my journey.  I wanted to share the journey of my fellow strugglers.  And when I say share I don't mean just me writing about my journey.

Because that is what we are.  Some of us struggle with similar things....some of us don't.  The point is...we are all strugglers.  Journeying.

Last Wednesday morning.... I had gone to bed very late but woke up to the sound of Mum leaving around 6 a.m.  I tried to go back to sleep but my brain went into thinking mode.  Thinking about this blog.  You.  How to interact more.  How to encourage more.  How to have a community of sorts....here on this little ole bloggy.

Soon I had my notebook out and was brainstorming away.  I came up with several ideas.  I am SO excited about them.  I am still working on what to call some of them but you can help me with that...

As I tell you about them...tomorrow.

He's doing a new thing,

won't you sing the new song with me?

 

 

Welcome to the New Critty Joy Blog!

Hi Peaches!

The new design is here.

I have to say I love it.  So much.

I love that my header is going to tie into my new blogging things I am announcing this week.

You will see that I have changed things significantly on the side bar.

Most things are now below the header in what is called the navigation bar.  You can subscribe and view the archives there....as well as see more about where I am around on the internets and visit my second home at Exemplify.  My book blog is also linked up there if you want to see what I have been reading you can also visit my blog friends on the blog roll....and I have an all new About Critty Joy page.

In the side bar you can see some of the new things that I will be talking about later this week...as well as Organizations I love and of course my quotables.

Want to know a schedule for this week?

Monday I am going to tell you what prompted my redesign and relaunch.

Tuesday and Wednesday I am going to introduce the new things around here.

Thursday I am going to tell you where I am in my journey and...

Friday is Caffeinated Randomness of course and I am going to be answering your questions!  So if you have a question you want me to answer leave it in the comments here!

I really cannot wait to share all of this with you.

See you tomorrow!

 

:o)