Critty Joy

When Adventure Takes Over....

Why Hello there dear ones!

I must admit I did not mean to abandon this little ole bloggy but life's been...an adventure as of late.  

It's very strange to be so very happy after nine months of really hard things.  Some days it scares me to be this happy yet I choose to embrace it and live life fully.

Oh... why so happy?

Well.

The job?  It's amazing.  I love it.  I work with some amazing people and am enjoying all aspects of it.  It feels like a perfect fit.  Just over a month in and I am overwhelmed with the goodness of it all.  I wake up excited for work and it's been a long time since I felt that way (years!).  

Having my own place is also fabulous.  I am enjoying making it a home each small step at a time.  (saving money for things like a dining room table are a dream come true!).  It already feels like home and I know in the coming months it will become even more my own space that reflects who I am.

And...

There is a guy.  Who is pretty amazing and he makes my life so much more fun.  He is good at getting me out of my comfort zone and he's wonderfully sweet to me.  

Life is lovely.

I feel like this quote has been the beauty of my life lately.  This year has been about giving up dreams and gaining new ones... it's been about hoping when things felt so hopeless.  It's been about choosing joy on the hard days.  It's been full of choosing trust and even on the most frustrating days.

A year of dare...that has turned out to be more than I could have ever imagined.

I am so grateful for the gift that has been this year...the beauty that has come from ashes and the hope that has sprung forth in the most unusual of ways.

I am not sure what this blog will look like for a while...as I try to navigate my new chapter of life.   

I will still be around on facebook and twitter as I try to figure out what this space will become.  Know that I think of y'all often dear ones!

My hope is that each of you are well... what has been going on with YOU lately?

 

Much love,

 

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A Reminder....

Source: icanread.tumblr.com via Christy on Pinterest

 

 

I found this on pinterest a few days ago and have been thinking of the truth of it... it's a reminder I needed. 

So I thought I would share it here today...in case YOU needed the reminder too.

 

 

❤,

Hope Laughs.

This year was suppose to be different.

Oh how I set myself up.

I get my plans in mind and forget His.

Then to have a year of dare?

Daring to live differently, on purpose, freely, courageously.

At the same time my heart struggles daily with one simple thing....hope.

This year has also been about daring to hope.

Hope for more.  Hope for bigger dreams.  Hope for things my heart wants but is afraid to admit.

Hope for dreams and prayers to come true.  

Hope is a good thing.

A beautiful thing.

I think at times that is why I am so scared to hold on to it.

When life beats you up you have a tendency to be a pessimist.  

Which means I am letting circumstances determine how I think and feel.

I am working on all of it and He is constantly sending reminders and lessons.

Like the book for book club, Beautiful Outlaw has shown me Jesus in a new way...and now re-discovering Him in the Word?  It makes my heart happy.

Kristen's series Storm has been so challenging and encouraging.  I have yet to listen to last week...partly because of being sick and partly because I am still pondering session 3.  Kristen said one thing that is constantly been on my heart that has helped me hold on to hope....

 

As always feel free to use this image as your desktop background. Just click on the photo and it will open in a different window at full size.

 

This has helped me so much on the hard days... our Hope has already come.  He is here.  When I think I can't do it any more or when it just seems to hard...or when I just want to give in to fear.... this phrase comes to mind.  Hope has come.

And then....there was Monday morning.

After little sleep I woke up still not feeling well and just plain grumpy.  I looked outside and it was cloudy and all I could think of was my bed.

I left for work and as I turned off our road...the sun was breaking through the clouds and I was struck with the gorgeousness of the morning.

Before I knew it I was laughing.

My heart was full of joy and hope in just that simple moment.

He had surprised me with beauty.

I realized...hope laughs.

The thing is...sometimes hope is simple.

It's the sun bursting through the clouds on a grumpy day that brings laughter.

It's the photo of my niece in her sunglasses saying the word ocean as we talk about our trip.

It's the smell of rain right before the first drop falls.

It's the smell of honeysuckle...and taking a trip down memory lane with trying to taste it.

It's a simple gift from a friend.

It's laughing until you are crying with a friend over something you discover and find well...odd.

It's thinking of you texts.

It's family.

So many simple things.

So much of our life is simply...hope. 

And sometimes hope is laughter.

 

P.S.  I promise I will be back to blog visiting and emailing soon.  Still on the mend from this cold/flu.  <3

 

Terrified Excitement and Prayer.

First, I just want to say thank you so much for your kind words through comments and emails last week as I shared my story.   You encouraged my heart so and made me feel loved.  <3

So now you know I am choosing hope.

In many ways that means choosing to trust Him.  No matter what.

It's been hard because of many things but mostly because of not being able to find a job.

I have been looking for a part time job to help me out until I can find a full time job.

I have applied to most every where local to no avail.

At the same time I have put a great deal of work into applying for jobs as a residence director at a college.  College students are some of my favorite people and I feel like I could really do well in the position.

Alas... most of the doors are shutting there.

At times it's hard, this not knowing what I want to do...what is that next step.

Last weekend we had a small family get together with some family...and a chance to catch up and say goodbye to my cousin Jenn and her husband Chris.  (They left for Africa again yesterday on a trip with their non-profit Retouch.  You should definitely check out their awesome ministry!)  

While we chatted they mentioned teaching English in Asia.

My Aunt Kim was like you should do it.

I thought for a few moments and the conversation moved on.

I spent a great deal of last week thinking about it and praying about it.

Doing some research I found that South Korea is one of the best places to teach for a year (or more).  The research fascinated me and I found myself reading all I could about Korea.  

I decided to take a step of faith.

I applied to a recruiter to teach English in South Korea.

Here is what I think....

A step of faith is just that, a step.  It's saying you know what.... I am going to take a risk and see what happens.

So you take that step.... and you seek His Face.

I have no idea what will happen in the coming weeks and months...if I will get a job here, or in another city (I applied to jobs in several different cities!), or even another country.  

However I trust that He is going to guide my steps and open doors and close doors and I am going to see the path He has laid before me the very moment He wants me to see it.

I am terrified.

I am excited!

Ahh...terrified excitement.  It's such a fun place to be.

A place that I trust is fully HIM.

Following Him is not meant to be easy...it's messy and dirty and terrifying.  He asks for hard things.  His timing is different from mine.  

Yet at the same time knowing He is going to lead me on the adventure of a lifetime....just because I am is and He is mine...is exciting and so much more than I can imagine.

Over the next few months I would covet your prayers.  That I would continue to seek His face and that I would trust Him and know He has a plan...and that my footsteps would follow His.

And now...it's your turn.

I would adore praying for YOU.

So today... How can I pray for you?

You can leave a comment here or email me (crittyjoyblog at gmail dot com) if it's something you don't want to share in a comment.

I am going to set time aside this week to carry you to His throne and lay you at His feet and let Him love on you as only He can.

 

The Lion that is Doubt.

Last year I took a step of faith and quit my job.

While I was going through with my notice I was excited and so certain this was the right move.

Then 2012 came and I have a very part time job.... and over the last few months have put in more than 75 job applications.

No phone calls.  No interest.

Money is very tight.

I am still trying to figure out what I am suppose to do.  What I want to do.  What do I dream of?  What is my passion?  What am I meant to do?

It's weird to be 33 and have no clue what you want to do with your life.

As the months have progressed I began doubting myself.  Questions have plagued me.  Frustration and confusion have overwhelmed me at times.

Did I hear Him right?  Did I take the right step of faith?

My shouted yearnings became just regular words and then whispers as doubts assailed.

I have also doubted Him.  I have felt so very lost.

I have spent weeks trying to figure things out.

Lost is not something I do well. 

When doubts overcome... lost is where I find myself.

As we prepare to start reading Beautiful Outlaw...and as I have been challenged by the book In a Pit with a Lion on a Snowy Day.... I am being reminded He always comes through.  At times it may be right in the nick of time... way past when I think it should be.  

I am reminded He does understand my confusion and frustration and hurt.  

I am reminded even when I feel lost there is direction and it points toward Him.

I am reminded He loves me.  Deeply.  

I am reminded even with how very hard things are....I love Him.

I am reminded He is the God of impossible.  He can do immeasurably more than I am even able to think of.

That there is a purpose in all of this.  When those doubts come and are overwhelming I keep telling myself... there is a purpose.  There is a a plan.

And it is going to rock my socks off when He reveals it to me.

I just have to remember the doubts are not as big as He is.

I cling to two verses above right now.  

On the days hope is severely lacking I think of those two verses and I know His version of my story is even bigger and better than I imagine.  For a while those doubts fade.  

In the end I must also remember to chase my lions... to dare to live this adventure of a life.  My doubts?  They are one of my lions and I am going to chase them...and with His help...defeat them.

So if you are overcome with doubts today... know you are not alone... I understand and so does He.  Yes doubt is big...but He is bigger...and so are we.

Joining in with the SDG sisterhood at Jen's place.

If you would like to read Beautiful Outlaw with Kristen and me don't forget to sign up!  We are so excited to get started next week!

I am also having a giveaway until Friday so just leave a comment on this post to enter!

 

 

Chasing Lions.

I have been thinking a lot about complacency lately.

How easily it consumes my life.

Complacency is so easy to exist in.... no risks, no worries, no one demanding too much.  

No fear.  Because there is nothing you are doing to be scared of.

I came across a quote a few days ago that fascinated me and shook me up some.

Stepping out on faith is like chasing lions.

What a thought.

And well... a scary one at that!

Lions are big and scary...and can hurt.

Funny thing is...so is life.

It's making a decision of sitting in complacency or chasing lions.

The root of this has been this question for me:  Am I willing to fight for my story?

My story, a life written by Holy hands.

I spend so much time wishing my life was different.

I spend so much time planning and scheduling my life.

I spend so much time doing everything else but living.

Living out my story.

Living out the adventure.

 

What do I want my legacy to be?

A life lived in complacency.

Or.

A life lived chasing lions.  Chasing the life He and I have dreamed of...together.

With the question of fighting with my story I read this quote and am overcome with the fact that in my life of ccomplacency I also rob Him of the glory He deserves.  The glory my life, my story can bring to Him.

A story He is waiting to write.  Waiting for me to take that step.  To say...I trust you.  I have faith that you have written the best story for me and even though I am scared.... it will be worth it.

I want my story to be full of chasing lions, seeking adventure, fear and excitement, steps of faith, and trust.

Dare I chase lions?

Yes.

Yes, I think I will.

 

What do you want from your story?

 

Dare... To Move.

My one word for the year is dare.

It is a big scary word to me.  

It involves things such as risk and courage and fear.

And one thing I want to do this year is move.  Which I took as a physical move.... Oh how He likes to teach us :)

Over the last few weeks I have constantly had a song stuck in my head.

It's an old Switchfoot song called Dare You to Move.

 

 

That tension.  I have been feeling it so much.

He has been daring me to move in my life this year.  In more ways than I can imagine.

To take steps of faith.  Some big and some small.

You see I am comfortable sitting and waiting when something is scary.  I wait for that big sign He is going to give me when I am suppose to do something.  I wait for that big sign that never comes because our God does not do things that way very often.  I am learning that still small voice is how He most often chooses for us to hear Him.  The more I have thought about this the more I have realized I have missed some opportunities.  

Fear has a way of doing that.  Helping us miss moments and opportunities.

 I am tired of missed moments.  

I am tired of sitting in fear.  

So in my year of living life daringly I must put fear aside.  Take up the courage I know that is within me and move.

He has given me some of what this looks like and I am already moving in some of those areas...even though it is scary!

For the month of February I am really working on moving in some way every day.  

Each day it's a little different but 12 days in...I must admit excitement over-rules the fear.  

I had never thought of moving in so many different ways.  

I am already learning daring to move means putting a lot of faith and trust in Him.  

Now I have a daily reminder to live life daringly...

 

 

Dare.

It's so much more than I thought it would be.

I would not have it any other way..because in the daring and the moving...I get to know Him deeper.

 

How are you getting to know Him deeper this year?

 

 

Joining with Jen and the SDG sisterhood.

Don't forget As of Late is Thursday :)

4 Sided Comfort.

 

Sometimes made of bricks and mortar from years of hurt.

 

Sometimes made of cement from a hurt that scarred so deeply ones world fell apart.

We think it protects us.

This box.  This 4 sided comfort.

And to a certain extent it does.

Often we don't know we live in our own box until something or someone helps us see it.

I have been thinking about my own box lately after a conversation I had with a co-worker on my last day of work at my old job.

I know at least one side of my box was made of brick and mortar as it took a year from seeing myself in my box to taking one side of it down.  (If you want to know about my journey toward breaking down one side of my box you read about it here, here, and here.) 

I must admit at times fear still comes with the fact that with one side of my box gone...I feel exposed and less comfortable.

At the same time it's opened my heart and mind and helped me see Him differently and know Him deeper.

My co-worker expressed to me that he was sad to see me go because he felt like it had just been in the last 6 months (the length of time my notice was) he had really gotten to know me.

I told him the reason was because in my box...no one could really and truly know me.  The thing about a box is no one fits in it but you.

Not even God.

(Plus if you put God in a box too...that's 2 thick walls to get through to know Him...and to know you!)

Once you take down one side of your box....others can see in.

He can see in.

There is an exposure.  People truly see...YOU.  

Breaking down one side of your box means getting comfortable with a few things....your flaws.  Your humanity.  You sin and brokenness.    It also means getting uncomfortable with a great deal of things.  

It's not been an easy thing...breaking down a side of my 4 sided comfort.

At the same time I think over the past 2 years and see a girl who can say she has take brave steps and shown courage.

Then I think to those other three sides of comfort and hope this journey toward freedom continues.

Thinking of a life box free...and uncomfortable... is terrifyingly exciting.

Even more... I have discovered that living a life that borders on terrified excitement is a life worth daring to live.

Since I am choosing dares and risks this year.  I think I am going to work on that next side of comfort.

Do you live in four sided comfort?  Or are you breaking down those sides of your own box?

 

Joining with the SDG sisters at Jen's.

 

Don't forget about As of Late this Thursday! :)

2012 :: Finish Year.

I am really great at setting goals but sometimes...I don't finish.  Each year for the past several years I have set goals but not met them all.  I could give you all kinds of excuses but really... it's a choice.

A few weeks ago Jon Acuff posted a dare to his readers.  Something he called Finish Year.  He will have tasks on his blog weekly as well as accountability via twitter and facebook.

It stirred something within my heart.  So I will be doing Finish Year.

This year I want to dare to finish.

These are my big goals.  Over the next week I will be breaking down my 9 big goals into specific achievable smaller goals.  

Here is a general overview of my goals.

Write. :: I will be starting this by setting aside time each week to write.  Starting with two days and moving up to five days each week.  This will include several things but the biggest is a novel based on an idea I had in February 2011.

Journal at least once weekly.  ::  I adore going back and reading my old journals but I am not very consistent and I want to change that.  I want to capture those private moments more consistently and I want to capture word snapshots of who I am and what He is doing in my life.  I want at least 52 unique entries in my 2012 journal.

Read 150 books. ::  Yes I am that much of a reader but I also want to challenge myself in what I read.  Books on certain subjects pertaining to the novel mentioned above and books that I might not read but should. I also want to read books on the craft of writing so I can learn more about it. Any suggestions?  Let me know in the comments!

Finish C25K.  ::  I started this last year and really enjoyed it but stopped.  I want to finish the program this year.  And to celebrate finishing it...do a 5K in October.

Finish Rosetta Stone French course. ::  A sweet lovely let me borrow her French course and I have started it.  I enjoy it but often get caught up in other things.  I have always wanted to learn French so I am determined to finish course 1.  I am going to set aside some time each week to work on learning and applying this.

Memorize 2 verses each month.  ::  I participated in SSMT last year and found it to be so powerful in my life to learn the Word and keep it in my heart...intentionally.  So I am going to memorize 2 verses each month again this year.  Anyone want to join me and help hold each other accountable?  :)

Be more intentional in friendships.  ::  Over the last two years I have learned a great deal about friendships.  One thing is that I have a pretty awesome group of people who pour into my life in beautiful ways.  They are heart-friends.  I want to deepen and strengthen those relationships through letters, emails, skype, and yes...dare I say...phone conversations.  

Move!  ::  I know He has placed this desire in my heart and I am pretty certain of the place.  (He is a God of surprises though!) and I want to keep taking steps toward moving.  Toward a community.  Toward having my own space.  

 

Do you make goals each year?  What is one of your goals for 2012?

 

*** If you are reading this on your blogger dashboard...this will be the last post you see from CJ there.  I am deleting the connect gadget because google is doing away with it.  You can subscribe in a reader above or through email in the sidebar.  I also link to my posts on twitter and facebook (both in the sidebar) if you want to follow or like me there.  :)

One Word.

Going into December I was pretty sure I knew my one word for 2012.

I was going to revisit a word that I still struggle with.

Hope.

As I emptied my office (from my former job) out on the last day of the year I was praying and thanking Him for the last 6.5 years and also thanking Him for the adventures to come.

My heart was the softest it has been in a while.

In the midst of busyness and other things it had been a while since I had quietly just prayed and listened.

One thing that came out of 2011 was that I wanted to live my life fully. And as I prayed a phrase I used a few months ago came to me.

Live life daringly.

When I got home I took a few moments to jot down the thoughts that came as I prayed and to look up the definition of a word.  I took some time to ponder the journey of 2011 and all that I learned.  To embrace trust.  To embrace adventure.  To embrace faith.

The word I looked up...

Dare ::  to have the necessary courage or boldness for something; be bold enough:  to have the boldness to try; venture.

To have the boldness to try.  To risk. Those words echoed in my heart and I knew... my one word for 2012 would be...

In my heart the challenge came....

Dare to love fully.

Dare to finish.  

Dare to hope.  

Dare to adventure.  

Dare to be brave.  

Dare to dream.

Dare to step out in faith again and again.

Live life daringly.

This year I am going to dare to do the things above and so much more.

I am going to embrace the boldness He has placed in my heart and dare to live life to the fulliest.

Terrified excitement rules my heart.

Fear because I am not bold.

Excitement because I know just like last year He is going to do a work in my heart and I will not be the same!

So today and for the other 364 days I choose to live life daringly!

 

Do you have one word for this year?  What is it?

Linking up with Alece's One Word 365 Community and with Jen's Soli Deo Gloria sisterhood.