Sigh.
Oh my bloggy friends.
Do you ever have things just all come to a head all at once?
I feel as if I have been on a roller coaster the last few days and I find the need for quiet.
For pen and paper instead of a computer keyboard.
For music instead of social media and television and movies.
So I am going to take a blog hiatus.
Truthfully I don't know how long.
I am one hot-mess.
If I am honest with you one thing alerted me to the iceberg and while I thought it was small (truthfully I wanted it to be small)...it was one of those that underneath the water hides a massive block of ice. So many things hiding beneath my I'm okay layer. So that tip of the iceberg became a catalyst for seeing what I did not want to see.
I feel as if I have been learning so much....but it has all stayed head knowledge and I just have not allowed it to seap into my heart....I have held my heart hostage...afraid it would get hurt again and it has been so weary.
Sadly none of this is new but it is time for me to be quiet and to deal with it.
To cry. To rage. To grieve. To laugh. To look and see. To pour out my heart onto paper for a change...to let it go. To tell the One who holds my life, dreams, and future in the palm of His hand what I feel and how I feel. To accept love. To accept grace.
Freedom.
I just connected the dots tonight that this is part of that journey toward being free.
I decided I would give you some more CJ Backstory posts instead of just letting my little internet home sit empty. So look for those starting next week...and for those of you new to CJ Blog...you will get a different chance to know me and my story in a different way.
I would so appreciate your prayers dear ones because this I know will not be easy.
But as a friend told me once and reminds me...being alive...it's not easy.
And nothing beautiful or free ever comes from easy.
And I want that beauty and that freedom.
My Love to each of you until I return,
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