So I established the fact that I am not good at waiting earlier this week.
Yep.
Still so very true this early Friday morning.
It's been a hard week.
I have done my go to things... journaling, writing out scripture, getting creative on paper and the computer.... and Thursday I just decided to forget it all and be miserable.
Some days just require it.
I am working on being okay with being whatever I am the day I am.
Honestly most days...I am okay. I am good. I am happy.
There are some days however that are terrible, horrible, no good, very bad days. (I call those Alexander days after the book.)
I don't think it's a coincidence that on those bad days... I feel hopeless and very alone... and the negative thoughts overwhelm.
One thing I have learned this year....
I have a dramatic streak y'all.
Also...on those very bad days I organize. Yesterday it was my journaling supplies, playlists, and pinterest boards.
As I organized my pinterest board...I ran across a CS Lewis quote I pinned a few weeks ago...one that I had not seen before.
I read it over and over.
God doesn't want something from us. He just wants us. - C.S. Lewis
Lately I have felt like I was being punished.
For what I don't know.
It was an easy way to beat myself up.
Saying I made bad decisions or I was a bad daughter, sister, aunt, friend...and Christ follower. Telling myself I didn't deserve things...good things.
This had lead to more verbal beating up than usual.
But as I read that tonight...and thought of the verses I wrote late into the night before it was easy to see the truth of that statement...He just wants us.
Sometimes it's the simple truth that captures the heart so thoroughly. Nothing I do is going to make Him want me. He already wants me. There is nothing I can do to earn His love...He just loves. He is love.
So in the wee hours of this morning I found a photo that suited my mood and added the Lewis quote and made it my wallpaper.
A visual reminder of a simple truth.
It didn't make my bad day go away...or even better... but it calmed my heart enough I could start combating the lies and remember...
I am loved. I am redeemed. I am worthy.
I am His.
So if you are having a bad day today Lovelies.... I hope a simple truth lights it way into your heart and you know... You are loved and you are His.
As always feel free to grab the image if you want to use it as a desktop wallpaper. Click on it to go to the larger version and then just save it to your computer!
Oooooh, I love that chair by the water and the quote... simply beautiful! Aaaahhhh....
When I was growing up, I wasn't taught how to deal with anger, hurt feelings, etc (basically anything with negative connotations), so when I had children and discovered that Alexander book, we read it over and over and loved it!
Posted by: Kimby | Monday, July 16, 2012 at 02:07 PM
There are days where I battle how God sees me and how the devil wants me to see me - and I'm learning God sees me how He created me - He knows I am unfolding - and that it isn't always pretty. That never surprises Him. He just keeps reminding me - and your quote - such a perfect reminder. I love C.S. Lewis - and with your photo - it shows the battle, doesn't it!
Wishing you find joy in the mess - I'm learning to:) One messy day at a time!
Posted by: bluecottonmemory | Tuesday, July 10, 2012 at 12:44 AM
So thankful for your honesty...your willingness to share what is going on in your life and heart and mind even when it's not all beautiful and perfect and happy.
Your words encourage me. The past few days I just feel like I am dragging my feet with some responsibilities that I have, but I feel like I need a breather. That choice comes with its own set of guilty feelings.
So thank you for sharing with us.
Posted by: Becky Roode | Friday, July 06, 2012 at 05:14 PM
♥
Posted by: Kristen | Friday, July 06, 2012 at 04:43 PM
That is a beautiful quote. Thanks
Posted by: Seashore | Friday, July 06, 2012 at 09:37 AM
Always a good reminder... C.S. Lewis has always been my go to for encouragement... he always knows exactly what I need to hear:) The wall art is beautiful ^_^
Have a blessed day.
Posted by: Sarah Shumate | Friday, July 06, 2012 at 09:22 AM