The Freedom. :: Part 4

Part 1.

Part 2.

Part 3.

As I look back I am fascinated my my one word for each year since 2009.

Journey.

Hope.

Freedom.

Dare.

 

After the brokenness, the pain, and the numbness I began to realize there was so much more to my life than what I was living.  My journey started learning that life was indeed a journey and on that journey you needed hope.  2011 was a year of freedom and it was bigger than I could have ever imagined.  The reason I could finally focus and begin my journey toward freedom was that I had accepted the brokenness and the pain.  It was a part of me and made me who I was.  I was stronger because of it...because He was in it the midst of it.

I let go of so many things.  Lies that I had believe for so long like I was unworthy of love.  Trust is still a bit harder for me but I give it to those I am closest to.  Friends and family who invaded my heart and would not let me go.

Freedom has taken the form of steps of faith.  Of conquering fear with truth and being brave in spite of not feeling it.

I let go of baggage and a job and expectations and religion.

I found peace, joy, and a lightness to my heart I never thought I would feel.

Freedom found in Him is true freedom.

It's the freedom that you can literally feel in your heart.

I always wished for that freedom.  Now I realize I had to take the journey He had for me to get there.

It was hard.  At times I wanted to give up.  At times I wanted to just curl up in a ball and wish the world away through my tears.

I wanted Him to make it easy.

I wanted Him to just fix it.  To mend all those pieces together and let me be.

He does not work that way.  

Brokenness is meant to bring us closer to Him.  (more on this in the last post tomorrow!)

And slowly... I have seen His timing for this is perfect.  His purpose shines through and I get to experience the beauty of freedom.

The beauty I knew would come.

I just had to wait.

Freedom was my coming beauty.

Now He gives me something even more beautiful to look to...

Comments

[Janice (MUM)]

I love you darling daughter and woman of God. As I sit here with tears in my eyes thinking about all you have been through in your life and how you have faithfully trusted God. The strength you have shown to me and the faith that sometimes surpasses all of my understanding is amazing. So many times over those devasting few years you lead your Mum in faith by your love and committment to our heavenly Father. You reminded me than and now of how faith and especially trusting in God is the key to living a kife full of joy. You remind me so many times of Papal and his faith he had and how he lives on in you. You are so beautiful and have such a gift from God I am so very proud of you and I have always been proud to call you daughter and friend.
I LOVE YOU

[K]

Of all the things we find in Him, it is this radical freedom that moves me most. I'm awed at your testimony & at the beauty that came from the ashes...