Today's Journey With.... features Jen Ferguson. Jen blogs at Finding Heaven and has been a great encouragement to me over the last few months. Enjoy a part of her journey below...
Dots and Stars
Max Lucado wrote a children’s book entitled You are Special. The basic premise of the book is this: You are special because God made you and nothing that anybody says or doesn’t say can change that simple fact.
I think this adult needs this lesson just as much as kids.
If you don’t know the story, Punchinello spends the first part of the book despondent because the other Wemmicks (the wooden people all made by Eli) continually place gray dot stickers on him because his faults, his failures, his never-measure-ups. He longs to have someone, anyone, give him a golden star instead. The people who receive stars are those who are the models of perfection. They are the ones who achieve, who are beautiful, who are successful in all they do. He tarries on this way until he meets Lucia. Lucia does not have any stickers, not because people don’t give them to her, but because they don’t stick. In short, she does not internalize worldly acclamation or condemnation. She simply relies on her Father to supply for her a sense of worth.
I am not like Lucia.
The world probably sees me as one with a myriad of stars, but a lot of the time, all I see are my gray dots. As much as I would like to be immune to criticism and praise alike, I find myself continually shaped by the lens through which other people view me. Recently, I felt God calling me to give up my leadership of our women’s Bible study. I announced my resignation, prayed for my replacement, and waited for someone to step forward.
And she did. The group made some changes. They decided what to do next semester. They moved on.
They moved on. Without me.
In the moment, I should have been completely grateful that the group I had led for four years was not going to die. I should have lifted my voice in praise to my Heavenly Father who HAD ANSWERED MY PRAYER. Instead, these are the thoughts that ran through my head: I was replaceable. Gray dot. They made changes because what I did wasn’t good enough. Gray dot. Maybe I should have just exited a long time ago. Gray dot.
The most depressing thing about this whole thought process is that it wasn’t my friends putting these stickers on me. In fact, if anything, they had given me stars – thanking me for my service, for my friendship, for my leadership. The point is, all the dots, self-imposed or not, and all the freely given stars shouldn’t have mattered. The entire time (hopefully), I was doing what I felt led by God to do. I did the best I could. I loved, I shared, I planned, I cried, I led. I did it for God and I did it for His daughters. And then it was time to let somebody else “do.” End of story.
What I do and how I do it does not define who I am. It doesn’t add or take away from my “specialness.” I can invest myself into something, but the something does not become a reflection of me. If I continually seek to find my worth in my own abilities, talents, and actions, I will always find a way to place a gray dot upon my forehead.
So, what is the answer? How do I escape the lure of the stars and the stigma of the gray dot? I must trust. The more I trust God to fill me, sustain me, to just love me, the less I will be concerned about the stickers. I will extend the same grace to myself that my God extends to me. When I fail, I will remind myself that God does not waste any experiences and He can redeem anything for His glory. Because, honestly, whether I succeed or whether I fail, everything I do must be for His glory alone.
To hear Max Lucado’ book, please visit here.
Visit Jen at Finding Heaven.
About Jen Ferguson:
Jen Ferguson is a woman who does not know how to function without Jesus, her iPhone, or chai lattes. She is a marathoner who spends most of her days chasing after her two little girls and all the duties of her two part-time jobs. She is a woman who is fitting more comfortably in the robes of grace and who is shirking off the cloak of perfectionism.
***Comments are closed so that you can go visit the author's blog.
***If you would like to be featured on Journey With.... email me and I will send you the information!
Recent Comments