For most of my life I have felt like letting go of something or someone was like giving up.
I have been taught not to give up.
This never seemed to be a problem to me until recently.
One of the things I have the girls I work with do is imagine themselves in an airport trying to carry 20 pieces of luggage.
You cannot do it all at once so you move a few forward then go back and move a few more.....the process gets repeated over and over again.
The baggage they are trying to move?
It's the things we don't let go of. The people we don't let go of.
I hold onto people. Friends. Family.
It's my thing. I am loyal. Except my kind of loyalty is damaging. To me.
I had no idea how much of my baggage was other people.
The idea of leaving some of those people (bags) behind was horrible to me.
A few weeks ago it was like a light switch turned on inside of my head.
While I was carrying all the this around there was no room for anyone else to come into my life. No room to love some of the others in my life. Perhaps an easier piece of luggage....a rolling bag..... for each of those I am carrying around?
But in reality there is no easier piece of luggage, no pouring into those I love or letting anyone else in my life until I let go of some of my people baggage.
So that is what I have been working on.
It's hard.
It's scary.
But I am ready to let go of some of this.
So that I can make room for new people in my life....and give some people in my life the time, attention and love they deserve.
Are you carrying any people baggage?
Good job, Christy. Strong work!
Fondly,
Glenda
Posted by: Glenda | Wednesday, August 25, 2010 at 08:38 PM
This is so hard - I let some "friendships" (I use that term very loosely!) go last year, but I still find I hang on to the hurts that caused me to need to let them go in the first place. And then I realized the other day that I was projecting those hurts on to others that had nothing to do with the whole mess. Praying for clarity and wisdom definitely helps - even if it is just me whining at God for days until I've gotten it all out and He can finally get a word in edgewise.
Posted by: Andrea Mitchell | Monday, August 23, 2010 at 12:22 PM
I am loyal, too. Which makes this all the harder. Not only that but I will fight to keep a relationship going even if that means I need to change myself drastically for them. Lately, I've been wondering, 'who, really, are my friends?' It is a hard process to let a friend go.
Posted by: Alyssa Rose | Monday, August 23, 2010 at 08:31 AM
Love this post! Just these past few weeks, I've realized that I need to let my life move in a new direction. I always seem to have a hard time doing this as well and it is damaging. Sometimes relationships get damaged beyond repair and the only thing to do is accept that. It's definitely more freeing....we can only pay attention to so many people and so many life narratives...we have to make sure they are the ones that build us up.
Posted by: Amy | Monday, August 23, 2010 at 03:45 AM
Yes, I am guilty of this too. I think it's built into our emotions to hang on to people. There's definitely some people in my life that need to be set down and left in the terminal. It's time for me to board the flight with a little less weight!
Posted by: Rachel @ Future Pastor's Wife | Monday, August 23, 2010 at 01:40 AM
I do love this, especially since I have just had to let go of a very important person in my life. Yes, the baggage was just all too much to carry, and in so many ways. I love the imagery of trying to carry 20 bags. I will remember that!
Posted by: Paula | Monday, August 23, 2010 at 01:19 AM
I had an experience earlier this summer where a girl I have known since pre-school (we literally were in school together from pre-school through the end of college) dumped me as a friend on Facebook. I couldn't for the life of me understand why and so I kept trying to get the friendship back. She just kept ignoring me. Finally, finally I had a revelation: why was I trying so hard to have a relationship with someone who didn't love me or want anything to do with me? So I let her go. I thought it would be hard, but you know what, it ended up being freeing. And with the letting go of someone like her I've thought more about the people I want to invest in, the people who love me and whom I love dearly. It's been a turning point for me. I love the baggage analogy, the twenty pieces of luggage. We all do it, I think it's in human nature. But I know God has made us for something better, for relationships that are healing and deep and lasting and prosperous.
Posted by: kara | Monday, August 23, 2010 at 01:11 AM
Oh if only I could say "Why no, of course I wouldn't do such a thing"...but the sad truth is that I do. Waaay too much of it!! Little by little, I am working to put it down...great word picture!!
Posted by: Bina | Monday, August 23, 2010 at 01:07 AM
This really spoke to me. I just had to come to terms with this myself and do it. It isn't easy setting new boundaries, leaving friendships behind completely, and all that goes with it. It hurts but I'm finding that allowing myself to let go of the "bags" is freeing me up for the better.
Posted by: K. | Monday, August 23, 2010 at 12:42 AM