Vulnerable.

Do you ever feel as if your heart is at such a vulnerable place you worry it might shatter.

It's an odd place.

And not one I have been very often.  But I seem to be there now.

As I thought earlier about why it feels this way I began to understand just how much has gone on in my life lately.

And to be honest that is why my blog has been a little more umm fluffier as of late.  

Because God and I?  We are at a very deep place...and honestly it holds my hurts, my on hold dreams, my vulnerabilities.  It's the scariest place I have been so far in my relationship with God.

You see so many amazing and wonderful things are happening too.

And some of those things remind me of things I can't have.  It's those deep hurts staring me in the face. 

Sorrow mixed with joy.  Sweetness mixed with bitterness.  Dreams mixed with on hold dreams.  No mixed with yes.

So often I sit down to write and I find myself wanting to tell you those deep things.  And I don't.  Because if I do I open myself up too much.  And that?  The openness, the vulnerability is so scary to me.

For now it's just me telling you I am there at that place.  I guess the beginnings of vulnerability.

You know the best part though.....

I know it's going to be okay.

Those things that bring joy to my heart they are beautiful, and some of them?  Miraculous.  

He knew this was the exact time for this part of my story because of the beauty surrounding me.  He also has sent me small reminders of His strength.  His Love.  His Peace.  

So in the coming weeks expect more vulnerability....and more fluffiness as I take time to sort through these things....with His Help.

Thanks for listening Peaches.

 
 

Comments

[Tracy]

I know what you are saying, here. Sometimes, He gets us alone. There are things for just us to learn. Take time for this. How wonderful that He is drawing you to Himself.

[Wanda]

Christy, I understand the mass contradictions we sometimes feel in life. Some things are great while other things are not quite as we would have it to be.

[Andrea Mitchell]

I can only love you more, sweet Christy.

[Ginger]

Oh, Christy, I am so proud of you for writing this post. I relate all too well and I want to share something with you. I will email you soon. Have a blessed day.
Ginger

[K.]

This spoke so deeply to my heart. I feel like I am at this place too. It is so hard, so filled with ache yet at the same time so profound and beautiful. I have a feeling I know what you are talking about and I want you to know...I've been praying for us. It is going to be okay even if it isn't perfect. Love you tons.

[cheryl]

Thank you for your openness. It is tough to be vulnerable for sure. Know that you, dear sister are being lifted up to the most high God. May you continue to find joy in the journey. Blessings CC

[Alyssa Rose]

Christy~

I love your honest heart! Thank you! I feel as though I know what you are talking about! It is hard and yet it is a blessing! Interesting how that happens. My prayers are with you today!

Isaiah 26:3
You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you.