The Long Goodbye

This post is a precursor to Thursday's post with a short story I wrote based on something that happened a few days before Christmas.

The short story is about something my Memaw left me many years ago.  I have written some about my Pappy but have not really shared a lot about Memaw because well, it's hard.  You see my Memaw has dementia.  One of the hardest things in my life is watching the lady I adore so much slip away from us mentally.   Dementia (Alzheimer's) is often called the long goodbye and I find that phrase to be so true.

 I am the oldest of the grandchildren and feel blessed that she was such a big part of my life.

So today I am going to tell you about my life with her.

 

Her name is Artie Mae.  She was born in 1923 not too many miles from where I now live.  She was a girly girl growing up with her many siblings.  I don't know a whole lot about her early life and young adult life.   She is a worrier.  Always has been.  But she is also fiesty...and oh so funny.  I know her life with my Pappy was adventurous as the two of them did several business endeavors...but I think she loved staying home best.

I get a lot of things from her....

My love of cooking.  My love of hats and shoes and purses. My middle name.  My fiestyness ;)

I feel so blessed to have those small parts of her.

What a lot of people don't know is that I lived with Memaw for many years.  After Pappy died my sophmore year of High School she was afraid to stay at night alone.  So Howie and I would take turns spending the night...but soon I just chose to stay with her every night.  I would go up around 8 p.m. and we would watch Emeril every night.  She encouraged me to go to college and we talked.  A lot.  My uncle and his family got her a dog and she loved that dog to distraction!  Noodles adored her just as much.

After I went away to college the first time she stayed by herself.  Once I moved back home she welcomed me back with open arms.

The second time I went away to college the dementia had started to reveal itself.  She soon moved in with my parents.

The summers were very hard because she changed so drastically.  She did things she could not do anymore because of dangers.  It got so rough that finally she had to be put in a nursing home.

And that is where she has been for several years.  And slowly she is slipping away.

To say that this is hard is an understatement.

(we missed you Jenn and Aunt Kim!)

 

The person you so dearly love is still here.  But she is also not here.  Right now she does not remember us.  She is in her teens mentally.  She asked for her Mom.  She asked about her brothers and sisters who are gone.

My Mum is a rock in this.  At times she does break down but she goes anyway.  My tender heart has a lot of trouble with going.  I miss her.  I miss the Memaw I knew growing up.

But then I remember the good things.  I do something that reminds me of her. And I remember Psalm 121.  She loves those verses.  And they remind me of her.

 

And my heart mends and breaks a little...all at once. 

I guess that is what love is all about sometimes.

Sweet Memaw.  I love you.

 
 

Comments

[3rdofDecember]

Oh. my. the. tears.

You know, Christy, 1 Corinthians 13:12 just blasted itself into my heart.

"We don't yet see things clearly. We're squinting in a fog, peering through a mist. But it won't be long before the weather clears and the sun shines bright! We'll see it all then, see it all as clearly as God sees us, knowing him directly just as he knows us!"

There is coming a day when your blessed Memaw will again see clearly - knowing him (and her loves) clearly just as she is known. For now, she is peering through a mist. We all are.

But Jesus is coming. And He makes all things new. Blessed restoration.

[Christy Klein]

Oh, Christy, that is so heartbreakingly beautiful. I am so sorry you have to watch her go through this - I cannot imagine how difficult this is for you. But, it's a beautiful thing those many wonderful memories you have with her. I'm so glad you've had a woman like your memaw in your life. So many lovely memories you will treasure forever.

[Laurie]

Christy,
This is so very touching to me as you know. Your memories are like mine, but you know I was the youngest. I seemed to get the short end of the stick, but it seems I spent more time with her than most. I see this disease every time I work and I just can't help but fall in love with these people. Your Memaw is a cutie and I would love to get to know her. Yes, she is back to her teens, but maybe you are learning something new about her life. Remember you are not alone while going through this.

Lots of Hugs

[Jennifer]

My Sweet Cousin,
I am reading this in Tanzania and tears are filling my eyes as I think of the many Deep South dinners we had at their house, Noodles, and that old TV we watched. The memories are so sweet. I am praying for you as you continue to walk the journey with our sweet Grandmother. I love you so much girl, your words are so powerful and moving. I am so proud of you Christy.

[kara]

I am so sorry for you and your Memaw. Dementia and Alzheimer's are horrible. One of my mom's closest friend's mothers had it and it was such a long, agonizing ordeal, as I know you know.

But what wonderful, dear memories you have of her, living with her and spending time with her. I'm glad you had that. Doesn't make the heartbreak any easier now, but just the same.

I miss my grandmother so much. She died when I was 16, and she was only 57 years old. I wish so much she had lived longer, seen me go to college and graduate, seen my cousins have children and all of us become grown ups.

This was beautiful, absolutely beautiful. I'm sorry.

[amy @ filled with praise]

I am so sorry your grandmother is suffering with dementia. I cannot imagine the pain you and your family feels watching her. I love how you shared all of her beauty and remember the beautiful times.
Blessings,
Amy

[Tracy]

Christy, I can't think of anything to say that has not already been said. These are the pieces that we all can draw from. When my grandmother was fading, I remember feeling helpless and missing her before she was even gone. I wish that I could have put it into words. This is so important. What a comfort our Home must be at that point! Thank you for sharing this. I pray comfort over you.

[Maria Delgado]

Thanks for sharing Chriss.